Literature! that is still the thing that will save me, and it is still the thing that I will argue with... the soft sciences... perhaps just a little, the hard sciences... fuck off! face it your hypothesis are arbitrary... Imaginations are really what will always tell the truth!!!
By Deborah Godinez 2011 ©
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Historicist Perspectives
I am a historian. I am my own story teller... and I am a woman/chicanoa/explorer gem... miscellaneous part-time teacher/mentor to the kiddies and the kidders :)... A literary encyclopedia; and a national refuser of all things nationally built and carried away.. :<>
By Deborah Godinez 2011 ©
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Mind of Mine
I am an ongoing walking Book
My own ethnographer
transcribing each episode as it comes...
An ongoing living crisis...
My experience teaches me
Like my own private little parable.
The didactic imagination of prisoner #0000
Prisoner of the mind!
Sequenced truths, dreams, natures, experiences teach me
the same things and new things and show me where I have been BLIND!
But ignorance and blindness unfortunately I cannot always detect myself... No unfortunately most of the times I refer to some painful event with another human being that takes place for me to recognize how I am blind... Fortunately, these events are lessening in degrees of severity. But I NEED HUMAN BEINGS! Because they help me see my ignorances; that I am constantly pitted against as the self-absorbed little human entity that I am.
And in short I am a walking MIND that lives day to day in the constant struggle towards freedom. Freedom from the additional suffering I lay upon my experiences because my MIND, gets too wrapped up, and DWELLS. Dwells, dwells... But at least I know this to some degree and can live with my own beaten down flickering pain that comes with trying to navigate the distinctions humans make and my own ringing truths...
And that is okay... AHEM.... don't clap too hard... --------Author D
By Deborah Godinez 2011 ©
My own ethnographer
transcribing each episode as it comes...
An ongoing living crisis...
My experience teaches me
Like my own private little parable.
The didactic imagination of prisoner #0000
Prisoner of the mind!
Sequenced truths, dreams, natures, experiences teach me
the same things and new things and show me where I have been BLIND!
But ignorance and blindness unfortunately I cannot always detect myself... No unfortunately most of the times I refer to some painful event with another human being that takes place for me to recognize how I am blind... Fortunately, these events are lessening in degrees of severity. But I NEED HUMAN BEINGS! Because they help me see my ignorances; that I am constantly pitted against as the self-absorbed little human entity that I am.
And in short I am a walking MIND that lives day to day in the constant struggle towards freedom. Freedom from the additional suffering I lay upon my experiences because my MIND, gets too wrapped up, and DWELLS. Dwells, dwells... But at least I know this to some degree and can live with my own beaten down flickering pain that comes with trying to navigate the distinctions humans make and my own ringing truths...
And that is okay... AHEM.... don't clap too hard... --------Author D
By Deborah Godinez 2011 ©
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The Summer Thus Far... July 24, 2011 written entry in Journey
:) The Summer thus far; people coming and going. Awkwardness--discomfort. Community Awareness... Writing here and there a little of you--O'--a little of me! (Rid me of this, Rid me of that)
Beauty, Restless Hesitation. Obvious Resignation. Beauty, Relief, Freedom agreement... Broke, remade, with stood, let gone. Come closer, go distant.
Delivering distance
Pain--Regret
Disillusion... The Figurative becomes ally, companion.
Figuratively AWED, inside and out of my MIND!
By Deborah Godinez 2011 ©
Beauty, Restless Hesitation. Obvious Resignation. Beauty, Relief, Freedom agreement... Broke, remade, with stood, let gone. Come closer, go distant.
Delivering distance
Pain--Regret
Disillusion... The Figurative becomes ally, companion.
Figuratively AWED, inside and out of my MIND!
By Deborah Godinez 2011 ©
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
It is finally coming to me
Alright,
so I am a Masters student in college and it just all occurred to me is that I can do whatever I want. That is actually what most of these professors have been saying to me in indirect ---read this book---kinda ways. I just realized, however, right now at 4:37 am in the middle of a not so exciting but memorably inviting summer enveloped with love and friendly events concerning race, class, and sex... that I can really do whatever I want for my thesis project. This was after having the privilege of editing a friends project as a last minute grammar check. So some of the books I want to draw from seeing as how I am doing the Mexican American Studies major are Tropic of Orange, Canicula, maybe an Ana Castillo book, and something off the wall like out of Hesse, and those will be my literary books I draw from, plus there are more comig in the mail... But the whole thesis will be on me and my experience... and so what I can do whatever I want!
so I am a Masters student in college and it just all occurred to me is that I can do whatever I want. That is actually what most of these professors have been saying to me in indirect ---read this book---kinda ways. I just realized, however, right now at 4:37 am in the middle of a not so exciting but memorably inviting summer enveloped with love and friendly events concerning race, class, and sex... that I can really do whatever I want for my thesis project. This was after having the privilege of editing a friends project as a last minute grammar check. So some of the books I want to draw from seeing as how I am doing the Mexican American Studies major are Tropic of Orange, Canicula, maybe an Ana Castillo book, and something off the wall like out of Hesse, and those will be my literary books I draw from, plus there are more comig in the mail... But the whole thesis will be on me and my experience... and so what I can do whatever I want!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Dreaded Dystopia
Sometimes when I close my eyes I seep into my own abyss of dissonance. My brain grows in the direction of a weary numbness… All of my insecurities and truths seem to be placed onto a sub-atomic net of disassociated knots… My level of comfort seems to decrease and my breath begins on its shallow way into a land of desperation. Drowning in my own fears determined to relinquish all of my tears. Disturbed into delight; it never changes… The its of my all come into contact with every discomforted feeling I can imagine all at once and immediately as well as dreadfully there is a distance from peace. A distance far between “who I am meant to be” and what I seem to have become…
The inclination and struggle toward life initially and chaotically almost ironically drives me and sends me a little closer to death…
The absolute abundant truth… we seem to live until we die…
Autora Deborah Godinez 2011 ©
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Death Obsessed
The truth hits so suddenly
so brutally
How could I have ever denied?
The hearts way of convincing me these feelings are not real!
Time and time again to let go of beauty
The beauty of this life and be this fucked up
inadamant object
This limpless lifeless form of existence without the empathy.
so brutally
How could I have ever denied?
The hearts way of convincing me these feelings are not real!
Time and time again to let go of beauty
The beauty of this life and be this fucked up
inadamant object
This limpless lifeless form of existence without the empathy.
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